Things find the places they are to be. The holes and crooks come out and swallow them up. I wonder what today might break or go wrong with my conscience or my mouth and its feet.
My lips are touched together as much as that time that we didn’t kiss but fell into it. Faces facing wrong directions and teeth clattering under the red night sky.
“Stop moving”, she said. I could feel the warmth against my face. She coddled my left cheek with her right hand.
“When you are gone, the spider pigs come and scare the little ones to sleep”, she said and turned to the window. “Are you coming home? Soon?” she said.
I wondered down the yard-line between our house and his. My eyes didn’t ruin the afternoon. My heart did. I screamed tearing and razing the relationship. I hoped to find him. To find you two together in some moment where I was leading the drama to myself. That no one was going to tear me apart alone. That she was coming with me. I felt that. The heart pounding and only tearing through five places.
Like back home. Like the drives through suburban highways eye-ing the neon gold and red signs pushing burgers and consumerism down your throat. You would gag, too.
Buy my heart, I would scream to myself as I received the payment from her father. To pay for the hospital time. The doctors and the specialist doctors. The rides on the ambulance and the continuous care you received in the form of my soul. The tread upon my very version of why to live became, shall we say, thin. And haggard at a quick notice to my version of life.
So remember one thing about life. One thing if all of this mess makes it back.
It do.
She slipped. She fell. Her ankle heated up with pain as the twist made its presence known. “Shit,” she said. She rose and dusted the sand off of her, leaning on her good foot.